Trying So Hard...Does it Matter In the End?

 

Image Credit: Malgosia Karniewska

At some time in life, a lot of people ask themselves a question they never thought they would have to:
"I've put in a lot of effort, but does it really matter in the end?
Maybe you've developed a profession for years just to be laid off. Perhaps you gave your all in a relationship that didn't work out. You've taken care of elderly parents, raised kids, studied assiduously, or given up your aspirations to allow someone else to follow theirs. However, life might not have turned out the way you had hoped despite your best efforts.
These are the times when the worth of trying itself is called into doubt.

The Illusion That Effort Guarantees Results

We are taught a basic equation from an early age:
Success comes from hard work.
Although persistence undoubtedly increases our odds, reality is much more nuanced. People that put in a lot of effort lose their employment. Heartbreak is experienced by loving spouses. Sincere companies don't succeed. Good people get sick. There are still unknown talented painters.
Life has never guaranteed that the result is determined just by effort.
Because we naturally expect justice - that good deeds should result in good deeds—this might feel incredibly unfair. When they don't, disillusionment can swiftly give way to cynicism.

Success Isn't Always Visible

The issue is that we frequently gauge success based on visible results.
Have I received a promotion?
Did the partnership endure?
Did my kids succeed in life?
Was my work acknowledged?
Although these are external measurements, they don't provide a whole picture.
The best accomplishments don't always leave a public record.
One difficult student was encouraged by the teacher.
Someone was saved from giving up by a stranger.
The parent who disrupted dangerous habit for generations.
The buddy who stood by someone in their hour of greatest need.
These successes may alter lives in ways that are hard to quantify, yet they seldom make the news.

Character Is Built in the Trying

Regardless of the result, there is a change in effort.
Character is shaped by it.
When nothing happens right away, trying teaches patience.
When we fail, it teaches us to be humble.
It teaches us to be resilient when we have to start over.
Because we have personal experience with adversity, it teaches compassion.
While effort frequently fosters knowledge, success can foster confidence.
Paradoxically, a lot of the traits we find most admirable in people developed at times when nothing seemed to be going well.

 

Not Every Story Ends Well

Perhaps the most difficult fact to embrace is this one.
Sometimes people give it their all, but the result is still devastating.
Despite all medical efforts, some people lose loved ones.
Some kids never get the safety they need.
Some dreams just never come true.
Realising this does not render life pointless. It merely serves as a reminder that effort is not a means of negotiating with the cosmos.
Every conclusion is beyond our control.
However, while we work toward it, we have power over the type of person we decide to become.

The Quiet Impact You May Never See

The fact that we seldom fully understand the consequences of our acts is one of life's biggest annoyances.
Unbeknownst to you, a compassionate discussion can alter someone's future.
Twenty years from now, a decision might be influenced by a lesson you imparted today.
Long after you've completely forgotten the occasion, someone can be motivated by your example of integrity.
Many deeds of kindness flourish where we are unable to witness them, much like seeds sown beneath the ground.
The lack of quick outcomes does not imply that nothing is taking place.

Does It Matter?

So, does it really matter how hard you try?
Maybe not if reaching every objective is the sole metric.
However, the answer is definitely affirmative if the test is if your effort made you more courageous, kinder, stronger, wiser, or compassionate.
Life is not predictable. Results are not certain. Acknowledgement is never assured.
However, we make a valuable contribution to the world every day when we choose compassion over cruelty, hope over despair, perseverance over surrender, and honesty over deceit.

We might never get the exact outcome we had in mind.
However, it's possible that the real goal of striving was never just to get there.
Maybe it was to develop into the type of person who persisted in walking in the face of uncertainty.
And no challenge can ever take that away.